Re - focusing

Well I thought and thought and decided I am not doing this year's show. I ha r worked my but off and have lost 18 lbs but I am definitely not where I want to be. I have learned so much in the process and feel so good. I am going to continue to eat clean and do strength training to build more muscle. I still have another chunk I want to lose before I start contest prep. I know it's a learning experience and I need to continue to teach my self good habits. I love the way my clothes fit and the muscles that are popping out. I hope it's enough for me to keep going and make it a permanent lifestyle.

My family is a great support team and they have helped me so much. I received a big pie email of gym equipment from an uncle to put in my home gym. I haven't quite got it set up yet but when I do, it will be fun to use. Well baby is screaming at me therefore my question to go. More info later.

Working on: Here I Go Again.

This is a little journal I keep for myself. Something that I can go back on and read over and see how far I have come. I dont expect anyone to read it and I know I am not as fit as other competitors. I have been pregnant 4 times, (2 of which I did a show at 2 and 3 months preggo). My skin has stretched and stretched and has added a nice amount of padding (don't forget the lovely, permanent stretch marks) I cannot seem to get away from. The point is, in doing these shows, I have a modivation for me to get fit. To train me to eat healthy and exercise. I love the way its making me feel and the things I am learning in doing so. 

There is another show in 17 weeks. I would (and have been) trying to prepare for that show. I have been working on putting on more muscle. Since I have had my last baby, who is now 19 months old, I have had a harder time losing weight. In fact, I have been gaining! I put on 10 Lbs this year without even changing my diet!! I even cut things out from my diet and still gained! What the CRAP!!  I know some of it has been muscle but I am feeling more bloated and puffy lately. I have had slight hormone/thyroid problems and I am associating the weight gain with that. 

I have learned a lot more since my last show. I have been training myself to have a healthy lifestyle even in the off seasons. Before I would only eat mostly healthy and exercise everyday when I wanted to start a show. I would go back to eating all the same things I did before. I love love love candy and baked goods. That is a weekness I dont think I will ever overcome. I have however, trained my self in self control. I can eat a little here and there instead of going overboard, most of the time.  (One reason I never looked as good as I wanted) I learned I need to make it a permanent lifestyle. I can allow small cheat meal here and there, on vacation. I go out to eat with my family but try and pick healthier options. My kids wanted Mcdonalds while on the road. I ate with them, ate a grilled chicken with no bun or sauce. I feel so good when I am making good choices for my body. I love to weight train. I feel good when I do it, however, I dont like cardio all that much. I dont like running. I get bored and my breathing starts to make my chest hurt and I get a little cough afterwards. However, I have found I can do HIIT Cardio. I get  it done in 30 minutes and its intense enough to get me a good workout. 

I am going to work hard and dedicate myself to try and get to where I feel good. I want to look better than I ever have if I am going to do the show. And in the 17 weeks, If I cant get to that point, I will just continue to work hard and do a show when I get there!

Well, it is over..I am pretty tired. The show was a very long long show. It started at 7 at night and by 10, they were only at intermission. 93 competitors. I payed for a Day of event service where they did all the bikini bite, the oiling, the pumping up. It really helped with the stress level for the event. A tip when getting spray tanned, Pee cup. Cut a hole in the bottom of a plastic cup and pee in that when ya need to go. Sounds gross but then ya dont get all the drips :) . It is the best thing ever.. I met a lot of neat women at the event. They all looked great and worked hard. I feel I didn't do bad, but compared to all the other women in my Medium category, I was short and curvy while they all looked tall, long and lean. I feel, whether I would have had a chance or not, I would have fit in better with the short category.

 Competing is a great, thrilling experience. After the show, we headed over to red robin for dinner. I got the whiskey river chicken wrap and sweet potato fries. It was ok, not as satisfying as I hoped. I did however get the root beer float. That was Great!

My 2 girls did the 12 and under category. There was 2 other girls that did a fitness/dance routine and 2 girls that did a bikini walk routine. When it was time for my 5 year old to go out, she got real nervous, thought she had to dance. My 3 year old went out instead and stood there for a while. We practiced her walking and posing then going off, but she decided she wanted to be like the other girls and do a fitness routine. She had the audience roaring. My 5 year old decided to try again when she realized she could just walk. When the awards were passed out, they gave them a little trophy and a barbie doll. They loved it. 

As far as the competing goes, I am going to take a break for a little while. My body needs the rest and my family needs me. Competing is such a fun sport. A great way to modivate me to stay in shape, but its very time consuming, and costs a TON of money. 

3 days out!

Well today marks 3 days out from the show!. I got my hair done but it wasn't really as blonde as I would like, its still kinda brown and coppery so I am going back tomorrow to get more blonde put in. kinda cutting it close. I decided on fake eyelashes and not sure about jewelry quite yet. I have however looked on-line at Red Robin's menu to see what I wil be eating on saturday night. I am so excited. :) 

 On Sunday I started my carb depletion, water depletion phase. I quit the carbs at noon and have not had any since! I will be able to add them back in shortly! I am so excited- I am about to go upstairs and eat some carbs! As for the water depletion, I was supposed to drink 1 1/2 gallons on Sunday and Monday but i was starting to feel pretty sick once I hit 1 1/4 so I stopped there. Yesterday was just a gallon and I got that good. Today is down to 3/4 and last night I started taking Dandelion Root. I am weighing in 4 pounds more as of now from the last time. I feel like I have more muscle but I do wish I was a little leaner. But hey, I have to be ok with being a little curvy. I am pretty much done exercising for the rest of the week. I might do a few abs tomorrow but I will be resting and preparing. If you exercise once you bring carbs back in, it kinda defeats the purpose of peak week carb depletion. You add carbs back in and carb load and they go to your muscles helping them to be full. If you exercise, your body will use those carbs for your energy. Well, off to eat so TTFN. Nothing comes before me and my food :) Sad to say, sometimes not even my kids ha ha. If I can't function from lack of food, how can I take care of them :) TTFN

12 days to go!

I am 12 days to go to my show. I have already sent in my paper work so I am now commited. No backing out now. I decided to quit crying about how I look and just work as hard as I can. I am getting up there no matter what, I can only do the best I can so need to just go with it. I seem to stay about the same from 5 weeks out down to 3 weeks out. Then these last couple of weeks my body starts to catch up with my training and I see the most progress. I am still hoping to lose 5-6 more lbs by the day of. Everything is looking great. I just have a hard time toning up around my belly where my pregnancies had an effect. Once I lose the last little bit, it looks a lot better. 

These last couple of weeks have seem to be the hardest ever.

Here is a sample of what I am eating:

Meal 1: (before cardio) applesauce and supplements

Meal  2: egg white omelet with spinach (or boiled eggs) 1/2 cup oats with cinnamon and flax

weight training (I do best when I eat in between cardio and weight training)

Meal 3: post workout isowhey protein fuel

Meal 4: protein, carb, veggie

Meal 5: egg, veggie

Meal 6: protein, veggie, salad + supplements 

Meal 7: If I am hungry-protein shake and rice cake

My gallon of water a day-sometimes it's really hard to get that gallon. I sometimes drink herbal tea or postum :) kinda makes things a little easier. 

I am so so so craving chocolate right now. This time around I am not thinking about all the unhealthy stuff I am going to indulge in afterwards. I have not had as many bad cravings this time around. I am looking forward to peanut butter and banana's. I also just want dark chocolate. Just one square :) Well TTFN back to training. I am going to walk around the house today wearing my heels. Also, my sweet mother in law took my suit and has been working on it for me, blinging it up some more. She is awesome. 

3 Weeks out

So I am just a little over 3 weeks out from my show. I am feeling pretty good about how I look at this point. I still need to be about 10 lbs leaner but I have also been putting on muscle. This week has been the hardest week of all. I have been doing pretty good at not craving too much this time round, I also started later than I did last time. This week, the cravings have been pouring in. Sunday we had dinner at my moms house and she fixed sweet pork and jello pretzel salad then I brough Chuck a rama's recipe of bread pudding. OH..MY..GOODNESS it is good. I cheated a little and had some salad, tasted a little bit of pork and bread pudding to make sure it was good to serve. We also had a birthday party for my little one who just turned 3. I did really good and didn't have any cake or ice cream, I served PB and J sandwhiches cut into fish and starfish for an ariel theme and I had to taste a couple of the scraps. I admit I cheated this weekend but not bad, just 1 bite of everything and I did lose 1-2 lbs. I am officially done with the cheat meals now. I think that is why this week has been so hard, I overloaded on sugar that I haven't had for a couple of months and then took myself right back off it again. Not good

I am doing my 30-45 min of cardio in the mornings following some weight training. When it comes to the nightly exercising, I have been feeling so worn out and tired that I don't feel quite like another 3-45 min. Instead I do sprints on the treadmill for about 15-20 min. My heart has definetly not been where it should be for this show. I just think of the day I will step on the stage again and remember the feelings I had of how good I felt and looked to myself and how much more I enjoyed that piece of cake :) 

4 more weeks

It is 4 weeks out until the show. I went and tried on some suits yesterday to see what I would like. There wasn't very many I liked on my body though they were all beautiful. It was nice to be able to try them on and see what works for me. My little girl is having an impacted tooth removed next month and that is going to cost a pretty penny so I dont have much money to spend on suits right now. So I decided I am either going to rent the white one I wore at the last one, or just tweek my turqois one up a bit and wear that again. 

I did feel pretty bad when I was trying on the suits. I felt huge in them and so pale-that's because I am a whitey :) It has been hard focusing on training 100% this month. Our family had a very sad experience this month. 

I am working at leaning out right now. I have cut out peanut butter and dairy. I also have decided I need to put up with tuna fish and tilapia if I want to make it. I have such a hard time eating those things-blehh I mean yummy!! 

I set an appointment up to get my hair done and spray tan. I am using a different spray lady. One who sprays   a lot of the competitors so this time I will have it done right, the first time. Well, gotta go get my cardio on. I have to start doing cardio twice a day everyday now-which I should have been doing earlier than now but eh. TTFN